Mental Preparation

Hello all, how's September, the month of falling leaves and back to school treating you? For today's post, I'm going to do something a little different. I'm going to be transparent not about my work but about myself and this last week. So settle in, get a cup of tea, coffee, or green juice, and let's go into the deep abyss that is my mind.

I feel like a lot of things have changed in my life and that can seem obvious when we look at the year of we've had but I've realized that some of the relationships I've had with people have changed and I'll be honest I haven't been liking these changes, especially for someone who takes a great deal of time and trust to see certain people as friends, when those dynamics shifted, I wondered what was it all for and if I was better off alone and then realized we are alone, no matter how many relationships we have, we all are alone. We may be alone together but still alone and I realized that in everything each of us does, we're there so if we're not comfortable and at peace with ourselves, we aren't going to be happy in life. We'll be susceptible to jealousy, imposter syndrome, and insecurity in everything we do. It's a journey, I know but one worth beginning. A journey to appreciate yourself as you're growing. I had the issues, I've noted above but only recently realized that and have started to deal with them and this actually relates to my work in such a practical way because it has taken a while for my novel to come out and that used to cause me so much distress but now I'm actually glad for the long waiting period; not just because it gave me time to edit and make necessary changes but it gave me time to deal with those bad roots that might cause me trouble when it was released. Comparing myself, and feeling bad because I didn't measure up to some standard might have frightened me from publishing another book or maybe I would have let hubris overcome me, to mask my insecurities or because of an inflated sense of self-importance (something else I've struggled with).

The thing is, everyone's journey looks different, it might feel that people are ahead of you in some area but you don't know what they had to sacrifice to get there.

So the main point of this ramble-like post on how I've been feeling is to embrace change, shun jealousy, and know that you'll reach your destiny at the right time. It may not look like you'd expected but you'll know it's right. People come and go, dynamics change, the world changes, the only thing you can control is your response to them.

See you all next week.